Saturday, December 6, 2014

Fact or Feeling?

Many times, especially as a girl, I find myself in a particular mood whether good or bad based on my feelings. When someone does something nice for me, that makes me happy and puts me in a good mood. When someone treats me unkindly that can put my in a bad mood. Why? Because no one likes feeling mistreated.

I think it's the worst when you don't know what someone is thinking or you assume something bad based on what someone has done or hasn't done for you. For example, if you have a friend who doesn't make time for you, you may assume they don't like you and that you smell like beef and cheese. When the truth is they are just super busy and don't mean to put you off.

This morning after my little ten mile run, I was talking with my sleepy husband and he was responsive. Then he was silent. I thought he was just being silly, but then he wasn't answering me back. So I got upset and left the room to get ready for the day. I thought to myself, James doesn't normally ignore me on purpose, so he probably didn't mean to ignore me. And even though I'm not feeling very loved right now, I will do things to show him I love him. So I made his coffee, got him a fresh towel for his shower and made breakfast. (I know I know- I'm such a good person... kidding of course, but on occasion I have my moments.) After he finally awoke, I gave him a playful glare. He was clueless as to why I would be upset. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep in mid conversation with me. (Okay now I would expect this at night time, but at 9am?! Men...) He apologized for falling asleep in mid conversation with me, and I refused to accept it for a few minutes. Then all was forgiven, and we still live happily ever after.

Now I chose to believe the facts rather then my feelings. I acknowledged that James wouldn't intentionally ignore me, not even when he's upset with me. I realized my husband loves me and wouldn't intentionally try to hurt me. So I got over it and had a good morning because of it. I could have had a chip on my shoulder and angrily made his coffee decaf, but I didn't...thought about it but didn't. :)

Who likes being in a bad mood? Not me! I hate it, but on occasion it does happen. But how we react to the situation can either diffuse it or ignite the situation. There have been many times when I have reacted poorly based on my feelings and it becomes a whole different situation. I know hard to imagine. :) 

A few simple steps to remember:

1) Take a step back and review the situation in your head. Determine the facts and compare them to your feelings. Do they line up? Usually, the person in question isn't intentionally trying to upset you. Believe the best about them!

2) Pray for them or the situation. Leave it in God's hands and let your hurt feelings go.

3) If necessary, Talk to them! Talk to your friend or spouse about the situation and how you were feeling, chances are they could be clueless like my hubby. And then you can laugh about it later.

But may I just encourage you today, whether with your spouse or friend, choose to believe the best about them or about a situation. Your friend who doesn't have time for you may just be super busy or her kids may have her locked up on a short leash. :) You never know what someone is going through, so choose to believe the best, and let God handle the rest! Pray for them and leave it with God.  Be a blessing and an encouragement to them without expectations. Let the world, including your family, see God's light in your actions and reactions!

Have a great weekend!

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:6
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.